Goalposts and Girls

A 28-year old Ronovijay listened intently to 18-year old Mitthu’s unfortunate bus incedent  as they relaxed on the turf,  looking at the goalpost after a tiring game.

“Goalposts are Girls”

Ronovijay started an epic chat with his much younger cousin on his birthday.

“The metal frame just stands out there, throughout the entire game…,” the elder cousin continued. “It’s decked up in a ‘one-piece’ net and whitewashed before the match.., just like a girl in a one-piece dress with make-up, all decked up for a party.” Turning around he asked Mitthu, “If the goalpost could speak during a game, what would it say?”

“Well, any goalpost would say – Don’t score a goal! I pressume” Mitthu replied like any footballer would.

“Nooo!”  Rono exclaimed getting up. Standing in the metal frame. He impersonated the goal post. “The goalpost would scream – Cummon …! Score!!! For me, please…!!! I want Cameras n’ Crowd to look at me… please…!!!” Rono’s Footballing histrionics were a sight to watch!

“But…why??!” Mitthu laughed nervously.

“Goalposts need their five seconds to fame” Rono said returning back. “Only the one who scores a goal could give that fame, not a goalkeeper who stands is right next to goalposts for 90 minutes.” 


Mitthu, The Man

Mitthu was a nice boy from a good family. Unfortunately, he lost his mom at 16 and dad at 17. “He’s a boy, he’ll manage” his relatives said.

One fine day Mitthu turned 18. Relatives had also said he had become a MAN…! That day he boarded a bus to visit his only cousin and celebrate his birthday.

On boarding the bus, it turned out that Mitthu was the only passenger who didn’t have a seat. Common sense prevailing, he occupied the  only vacant seat left in the bus. Ten minutes into the journey Mitthu heard a rude female voice: “चल… उठ यहाँ से…Get up!”

Snapping her fingers, a girl in her early 20s was ordering Mitthu to vacate the seat. He had occupied the seat which was reserved for ladies. The unrecognisable sign stating “Ladies Only” had evaded him too. Obeying the rule, he decided to get up. As he gathered his luggage, female passengers started passing remarks, “Parents are to be blamed too. Can’t they teach manners to their sons?” said female voice. “Today’s, girls will teach a lesson to such people, if their mother and father can’t” said another female passenger. The remarks sank Mitthu’s heart. His parents taught him whatever they could till they were with him. But their teachings always stayed with him. He recollected their golden words:

“Take a stand for righteousness”

“Are you pregnant?” He asked the lady who had ordered him to vacate the seat.

“What…???” She was alarmed. “Of course not! Who are you to…”

Mitthu didn’t allow her to complete. Instead, he replied sharply “A fit young lady can stand in a moving bus, just like I would. Please respect gender equality. The Indian Constitution believes in it. I do. And so should you. I’ll get up from my seat on reaching my destination. Please stop being a bully.”

The feminist brigade in the bus went silent. All remarks STOPPED. Mitthu had reached his destination. He had become a MAN. He took a vow to speak up against harrassment on men, especially by women.

To be continued in Goalposts and Girls